Thankfulness 2nd Edition

We had a crazy and wonderful Thanksgiving with my family last week. My grandparents came in from Michigan on Thanksgiving day. This was their first time meeting Addison in person. She gave them her best show of the wide range of her personality, from her new talent of giggling & smiling so big her mouth becomes the size of her entire face, to sleeping like a sweet angel, to screaming as if she hadn't eaten in days. The noise level in my parents' home went from about 15 to 150 with all 4 grandchildren making noise at the same time and 6 different conversations all going at once, but the time together and memories made were well worth it!
The girls and I have been listening to at least a little (usually a lot) of Christmas music every day. I've been really enjoying and looking forward to choir practice at church as we prepare for our Christmas program this year. I love singing my heart out for Jesus and I pray that many lives are touched through the message of our music.
Today I'm thankful for Addison taking a nap, Emma's sense of humor, hot coffee my Mom left in the pot for me, my husband's job, and hugs and snuggles. There are many many more things I'm thankful for but this is just a small list for now. I'm off to do laundry now!

Thankfulness

It has been far too long since I last visited bloggerland (that's what I call this fantastic world where I feel free to speak my mind & not worry so much about what people think or who might get mad because of something I say). In the time since my last post, my life has taken some unexpected, unwelcome & unenjoyable turns. Nevertheless, I'm thankful for all of them because I know God has a purpose & a lesson for me and my family, and if this is what it takes for the fulfillment of His perfect will in my (our) life then so be it.

It might seem as though I'm some sickeningly positive person who's happy all the time, but that could not be further from the truth. Yes, I do TRY to see the positive side of most situations, but I have been through some very dark times personally. I've recently been reminded by a dear friend of mine that even when things SEEM horrible or hopeless, there are ALWAYS things for which we can be thankful. (Thank you, Liv. I love you!) So, here I am to share some things for which I'm thankful right this minute.

1. Friends who pray for me and my family
2. Friends who want to spend time with me & invite me to join them for a fun time at the park
3. Parks & playgrounds
4. The amazing fall colors created by the Greatest Artist of All
5. My beautiful children who have been very well-behaved today

Stuck

I feel like I have so many things I'd like to say, but they are stuck in my head. Stuck at that point right before they become concious thoughts that can be expressed through words that make any sense at all. I can't seem to get them out in any sort of nice neat form, so this is my messy chaotic attempt to make them all stop floating around crashing into each other in my mind. Some of them at least.

Note to readers, please don't take ALL of these as seriously as they may sound. They're not all completely literal.

1. I love my husband & my little girls more than I ever dreamed possible. Just the thought of them makes my heart feel like it's going to explode.

2. I have BIG dreams for my future (& my family's).

3. Some of these dreams scare the crap out of me.

4. Sometimes I feel like the most misunderstood person on the planet.

5. I sometimes feel like I don't have a single friend in this whole wide world.

(See, I KNOW that's not true, but I still sometimes feel like I have no one I can talk to about things.)

6. I want to be more creative in every area of my life.

7. I don't want to work, I want to be a SAHM, and I feel like I should be able to do that.

8. I feel I have the inborn right as a human being to shower at least every other day.

9. I need at least an hour a day for myself- not counting the time I should get for my shower.

10. I never want to learn to change a tire. I'm a girl & I have a husband- let him do it. I know this is silly, but I'm a silly girl sometimes.

11. I hate the way I look & I know I'm the only one who can do anything about it but I don't get any time to invest in doing anything about it. I don't think this is fair.

12. I'd have lots & lots of children if we could afford it & Billy would agree to it.

13. I still feel like a confused/scared little girl sometimes instead of the almost 30 year old I'm supposed to be.

14. I miss laying my head on my Momma's lap & having her run her fingers through my hair like she did when I was little.

15. I wish I had the courage of David to pick up a couple stones & walk up to the giant unintimidated, knowing that one throw would knock him out.
That's all for now. Thank you for your patience. I'm still a work in progress.

Addition of "Woozle Addison"

I love love love being a mom of two precious little girls. That being said, I have never been so tired for such an extended period of time in my entire life. Currently, Emma is on the floor taking her shoes off, trying to put them on by herself, whining when she has a hard time w/it until I set the laptop aside to help her...all to repeat the process 1 minute later. Addison is lying on the couch beside me because I need her close enough to me that I can replace her paci when she undoubtedly spits it our every minute or so without having to actually get up & walk across the room to do it. Billy is sleeping on the couch (I have NO IDEA why he would choose to sleep on the couch instead of our $750 mattresses that are WAY more comfortable) after being awake for about 34 hours straight between his 2 jobs & family stuff. I am, besides replacing shoes, pacis & trying to type, very annoyed by the loud whining puppy in my hall bathroom right now. Billy rescued him after he was abandoned for who knows how long, and we are now trying to find him a home. (Any takers??? Please???)

This is my life on a daily basis with two woozles. I love them with all my heart. Addison is such a precious little baby girl, and a really good, happy baby for the most part. She mostly only cries when she's trying to fall asleep & loses her paci, when she's being changed, or if Mama can't get to her quick enough at meal time. She is 6 weeks old today...excuse me while I cry please. It has flown by! I have to remind myself to take a few minutes each day & just slow down to enjoy my kids. Put the phone down, get off the computer, turn off the tv & just watch them or play w/them or read to them or cuddle them tight because pretty soon I know they'll realize there's a whole great big world out there separate from Mama & Daddy & they'll pull w/all their might to get away from me & experience it.

Anyway, back to life as it is currently. Have I gotten Addi on a schedule yet? No, and the one Emma was on has all but flown out the window. Pretty much the only thing that has survived is Emma's bedtime, usually. I still have to pretty much schedule and reschedule everything around what Addi wants at every single moment. This means that there are days when I feel like a great mom & housewife and I get a great number of things accomplished and I'm wearing a big smile for the world to see. This also means there are days when I feel like a complete failure as a mom, wife & human being in general because I've gotten nothing accomplished and at the end of the day I'm still wearing my pajamas, dirty hair & yesterday's makeup and I hide from the world completely. But either way I know I still have 2 little wonders who love me for me & a husband who sacrifices everything to make sure his family is provided for.

Billy & I are learning every day to lean fully upon our Heavenly Father because He is our source and our strength & without Him there's no way we would've even made it this far. He is Jehovah Jirah our Provider. We are so thankful for the provision of this second job for Billy so I'm able to stay home w/the girls. We haven't seen the fruit of this blessing yet, as he's been there 2-1/2 weeks & doesn't get his first paycheck until this Friday, but we are in God's hands & we know our future will only get brighter.

Finally able to use a computer to post instead of my blackberry so I'm gonna try to add some pictures to this post.

Things I'll be blogging about in the (hopefully) near future include: my determination to lose weight & get in shape so I'm not ashamed of how I look anymore and the planning process for our wedding which is to take place on our 2 year anniversary. Hope someone reads all this someday!

Who Would've Thought

Well, it's been over. Month since my last post...I can't even believe it! I wish I could've posted sooner, and there was probably a moment here or there when I could've gotten a sentence or two out, but in those moments I have chosen to sleep.

As of my last post, I was going to update afer my Dr appt the next morning. At my appt my Dr gave me the choice to schedule induction w/in the next couple days or wait one more week to see if I'd go into labor on my own. I opted to wait. That evening I went to the SoGospelNews Musicfest sponsored by my good friends at sogospelnews.com. We went to eat at IHop afterwards, which happens to be right across the street from my hospital.

While at IHop I started having very regular contractions. They weren't painful but they were coming every 3-5 minutes. My friends kept asking if I needed to go to the hospital & I continued to reassure them I was fine & insisted upon finishing my food. I knew if I did go to the hospital in labor that it would be hours (even a DAY) before I'd get to eat again! So after we ate they went w/me over to the hospital & waited w/me until my husband Billy got there. After an hour & a half of observation my Dr decided I'd stay because Addison was on her way! :)

I had a relatively easy labor & dialated very quickly once my water broke & I got an epidural. Yes, I always want the epidural! I don't believe I need to try to be superwoman. I believe I'm super enough just by bringing a new life into this world! I called the nurse ready to push at about 11am and 2 big pushes & 1 little push later Addison Michaela Mankin was born!!! She entered this world at 11:19am on July 29th & weighed 7lbs 4oz & was 21-1/2" long. :)

My next post will tell about what life's been like so far with 2 Woozles. I promise it will be less than a month before I post again!!!

Mammoth Mama

Today I am 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant, and I feel HUGE! I went to a consignment sale today with 3 of my good friends and got some really good finds! However, it was in basically a warehouse building, and there was no air conditioning!!! I literally felt like I was melting! After our little shopping excursion, Emma and I came back to Sandy's house for lunch and to just hang out.

I go back to the doctor tomorrow morning. I really hope I've made more progress because it will mean we're even closer to our little Addison joining us! I know I can last as long as she takes, but I hope she comes sooner rather than later! I am growing (literally) more uncomfortable each day and walking around is a real challenge sometimes...today is one of those days! Almost none of my clothes fit me anymore...2 dresses, maybe 4 shirts, and 3 pairs of capris. That's about it. I think it's about time Addison's born! One thing I'm very grateful for is that I have not been swollen! Even in the heat of the summer, I've been very blessed!

Well I guess that's all for now! I'll be sure to write sometime tomorrow with an update from the doctor!

Preparing for Woozle #2 (Vol. 001)

First of all, I suppose I should explain how I came up with the word woozle and what a woozle is. I believe I heard the word woozle used on Winnie the Pooh. It's like some sort of monster or something. Well one day I was babysitting 3 children under the age of 4 and they were all acting like MONSTERS! I was pretty much at my limit and looking for a word to describe to someone how the day had gone. What did I come up with? "They're all acting like such...WOOZLES!!!" So now that's the word I use when referring to children, rugrats, munchkins, whatever it is you like to call them.

So about 3 weeks ago, I wrote out a very detailed itemized list of all the things I felt I needed to have accomplished before Little Woozle Addison is born. It's really helped me not feel so overwhelmed with all I had to do. Even on days when I can only mark off one thing it still feels good. Yes, there have been days when I couldn't cross anything off my list, but I think that's ok.

Yesterday I got to cross of two things, one thing I really hate doing and one BIG thing.

I hate putting away the clean laundry. I have no problem washing and drying laundry, but I have a real problem with folding and putting it away once it's clean. I have no idea why; it makes no sense to me. I just don't like it, but I finally bit the bullet and got it done!

I also got the girls' bedroom (it seems so weird to call it that!) completely clean & organized. I separated baby toys from big kid toys, cleaned off the changing table and Addison's crib since I'd let them become catch-all's in my laziness, picked up all the dirty clothes and put away the clean ones, and vacuumed the floor. I doesn't seem like that big a deal, but when you're 36 weeks pregnant it really is!

I'll end this for now since I myself find it very boring and I can tell that I'm rambling. I will try to upload some pictures of the girls' room. We'll see how it goes, I'm still trying to figure all of this out & it seems to be sort of confusing since I have to do it all from my blackberry because we don't have a computer right now.

Potty Training Try-out

I decided to start trying to potty train Emma today. She is 17 months old now and we have less than a month left before her little sister Addison will be born. I really just wanted to try it out to see how big her interest is and decide if I want to continue or wait until she's a bit older.

So far today has not been a success. She did not go at all for the first hour & a half that she was awake this morning even tho I had her try every 15-20 minutes. Then she decided to go in her diaper within 3 minutes of having it back on. So I thought maybe I'll try her training panties, but she wet those, too. For nap time of course she got a diaper. She just woke up & had lunch so back to the grinding stone we go. Hopefully this afternoon will be more successful!