I love love love being a mom of two precious little girls. That being said, I have never been so tired for such an extended period of time in my entire life. Currently, Emma is on the floor taking her shoes off, trying to put them on by herself, whining when she has a hard time w/it until I set the laptop aside to help her...all to repeat the process 1 minute later. Addison is lying on the couch beside me because I need her close enough to me that I can replace her paci when she undoubtedly spits it our every minute or so without having to actually get up & walk across the room to do it. Billy is sleeping on the couch (I have NO IDEA why he would choose to sleep on the couch instead of our $750 mattresses that are WAY more comfortable) after being awake for about 34 hours straight between his 2 jobs & family stuff. I am, besides replacing shoes, pacis & trying to type, very annoyed by the loud whining puppy in my hall bathroom right now. Billy rescued him after he was abandoned for who knows how long, and we are now trying to find him a home. (Any takers??? Please???)
This is my life on a daily basis with two woozles. I love them with all my heart. Addison is such a precious little baby girl, and a really good, happy baby for the most part. She mostly only cries when she's trying to fall asleep & loses her paci, when she's being changed, or if Mama can't get to her quick enough at meal time. She is 6 weeks old today...excuse me while I cry please. It has flown by! I have to remind myself to take a few minutes each day & just slow down to enjoy my kids. Put the phone down, get off the computer, turn off the tv & just watch them or play w/them or read to them or cuddle them tight because pretty soon I know they'll realize there's a whole great big world out there separate from Mama & Daddy & they'll pull w/all their might to get away from me & experience it.
Anyway, back to life as it is currently. Have I gotten Addi on a schedule yet? No, and the one Emma was on has all but flown out the window. Pretty much the only thing that has survived is Emma's bedtime, usually. I still have to pretty much schedule and reschedule everything around what Addi wants at every single moment. This means that there are days when I feel like a great mom & housewife and I get a great number of things accomplished and I'm wearing a big smile for the world to see. This also means there are days when I feel like a complete failure as a mom, wife & human being in general because I've gotten nothing accomplished and at the end of the day I'm still wearing my pajamas, dirty hair & yesterday's makeup and I hide from the world completely. But either way I know I still have 2 little wonders who love me for me & a husband who sacrifices everything to make sure his family is provided for.
Billy & I are learning every day to lean fully upon our Heavenly Father because He is our source and our strength & without Him there's no way we would've even made it this far. He is Jehovah Jirah our Provider. We are so thankful for the provision of this second job for Billy so I'm able to stay home w/the girls. We haven't seen the fruit of this blessing yet, as he's been there 2-1/2 weeks & doesn't get his first paycheck until this Friday, but we are in God's hands & we know our future will only get brighter.
Finally able to use a computer to post instead of my blackberry so I'm gonna try to add some pictures to this post.
Things I'll be blogging about in the (hopefully) near future include: my determination to lose weight & get in shape so I'm not ashamed of how I look anymore and the planning process for our wedding which is to take place on our 2 year anniversary. Hope someone reads all this someday!
