Stuck

I feel like I have so many things I'd like to say, but they are stuck in my head. Stuck at that point right before they become concious thoughts that can be expressed through words that make any sense at all. I can't seem to get them out in any sort of nice neat form, so this is my messy chaotic attempt to make them all stop floating around crashing into each other in my mind. Some of them at least.

Note to readers, please don't take ALL of these as seriously as they may sound. They're not all completely literal.

1. I love my husband & my little girls more than I ever dreamed possible. Just the thought of them makes my heart feel like it's going to explode.

2. I have BIG dreams for my future (& my family's).

3. Some of these dreams scare the crap out of me.

4. Sometimes I feel like the most misunderstood person on the planet.

5. I sometimes feel like I don't have a single friend in this whole wide world.

(See, I KNOW that's not true, but I still sometimes feel like I have no one I can talk to about things.)

6. I want to be more creative in every area of my life.

7. I don't want to work, I want to be a SAHM, and I feel like I should be able to do that.

8. I feel I have the inborn right as a human being to shower at least every other day.

9. I need at least an hour a day for myself- not counting the time I should get for my shower.

10. I never want to learn to change a tire. I'm a girl & I have a husband- let him do it. I know this is silly, but I'm a silly girl sometimes.

11. I hate the way I look & I know I'm the only one who can do anything about it but I don't get any time to invest in doing anything about it. I don't think this is fair.

12. I'd have lots & lots of children if we could afford it & Billy would agree to it.

13. I still feel like a confused/scared little girl sometimes instead of the almost 30 year old I'm supposed to be.

14. I miss laying my head on my Momma's lap & having her run her fingers through my hair like she did when I was little.

15. I wish I had the courage of David to pick up a couple stones & walk up to the giant unintimidated, knowing that one throw would knock him out.
That's all for now. Thank you for your patience. I'm still a work in progress.